For the Love of Family

Often when scrolling down my news feed, I come across a post or meme about family that reads something like this, “Family or not, I will cut you off,”, “Family is supposed to be our safe space, but they are often the ones who bring heartache”, or “You are allowed to cut ties with toxic family members.”

More, I recently read an article discussing the growing number of young adults who are cutting ties with their families because they refuse to accept intolerable behavior or feel obligated to do something that causes them their own peace and happiness.

I can relate to the nature of the posts and the feelings expressed by young adults, as I have too experienced dysfunctional family moments and heated conversations with relatives. However, I believe family estrangement is not the solution for dealing with such issues.

Consider the story of Joseph in the Book of Genesis. His brothers were envious of him because his father favored him and gave him a special gift, a robe of many colors. Their initial plan was to kill him, throw him into a cistern, and let a ferocious animal devour him, but they stripped him of his robe and sold him into slavery to the Ishmaelites. Joseph experienced trials and tribulations from that point, but God was with him. Years later, during a famine in their land, Joseph’s brothers went to Egypt to purchase grain, not knowing what to expect. At this time, Joseph was in charge of Egypt and recognized them. When he made himself known to his brothers, they were terrified at his presence. However, instead of using his authority to punish them, his brothers were met with forgiveness, welcomed, and given the best of all Egypt.

Joseph’s story exemplifies the sovereignty and grace of God. Despite his brother robbing him of his inheritance and freedom, God’s blessing shone through every circumstance, allowing Joseph to forgive his brothers and become a source of blessing to them and their families when they were in need. I get that doing the family thing is not easy, as family relationships are complex, ever-changing, and profoundly impact our lives to the point that some of us may have chosen to cut ties with our families. However, it is important to remember that God did not give us families to discard them hastily. Instead, we are called to embrace family bonds and navigate the complexities of relationships, fostering an environment built on love, honor, forgiveness, and accountability.

Family Wisdom in Scriptures

Matthew 12:25: Every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

Colossians 3:13-14: Be tolerant with one other and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity.

1 Timothy 5:4: But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

1 Timothy 5:8: Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Malachi 4: 6-He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”

 Mark 3:25: If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.

Ephesians 6:1-4: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”- which is the first commandment with a promise- “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Matthew 7: 11: If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him.

I would love to hear from you. What are some of the most significant challenges you've encountered in your family relationships, and how did you navigate through them?